What have I done.

‘What have I done?’ I ask myself as I walk down the street. I pass woman with her small child, and all I can think is what I have done and if I could do it again. ‘No! I can’t let myself think like that!’
‘But you want to do it, you know it.’
“No!” I yell, and then pause. Several people have turned to see me. I drop my head and put up my hood. ‘I need to not draw attention to myself!’
‘Too late for that, you should be more careful.’
“Shut up.” I stop. ‘Crap I did it again!’ I begin to walk again, now faster.
As I pass an alleyway I feel something grab my arm and pull me in. It was a man. He looked half dazed and crazy. “Hey you wanna have some fun.”  He said as more a statement than a question.
“No, let me go.” I try to pull away but he has a tight grip on me.
He moves closer to me. I can smell alcohol on his breath. “You know you want to.” H starts to pull me farther down the alley.
‘Do it! Just do it!’
“No! Let go of me!” Demand but it’s no use, he has a death grip on my arm.
I pull my other hand out of my hoodie and swing at him.
He frees me, and looks at me in bewilderment. A small cut was now bleeding on his face. I had made the cut with the knife I was gripping.
‘Finish him! It will be easy! Just do it already!’
I take a step closer to him. I could no longer see any colors; none but red. I needed to see more red. I raise my hand and bring it back down quickly.
I heard a small gasp from the man before I felt him go limp under my knife.
The red was beautiful, but it seemed wrong.
‘Congratulations, you have done it again.’
“Shut up!” I scream, as I realize what exactly I have done.
I shove the knife back into my pocket, and start to run. ‘I can’t let this keep happen! How can I stop it?’
Outside of the ally I ran as fast as I could. I ran down the street, I took a right, I take a left. I start to draw attention. ‘I have to get out of town’
The edge of town isn’t that far. I slow to a walk, and make a bee line to my unknown destination.
All the sudden all the sound when away, and I couldn’t move. Not sure what happened I look around. I see concerned faces, staring right at me. Time seemingly to have stopped. I didn’t realize why until time started and I felt a sudden pain, followed by another, and then warmth.
I was struck by a car that made me jam the knife I had into my stomach. The blood was warm, it was nice. I couldn’t breathe but it was nice. I like it.
A man came running, he knelt by me. “Stay here, we’ll get help!” He tells me
“No.” I say calmly “Its better this way” I show him a smile and my vision goes dark.